i'm mean.

i no longer understand why this is my blog, when i put up posts and take them down after an hour (when guilt sets in).

haha maybe i ought to close down and keep everything under wraps.

ok i think what every girl wants is simple - responsibility and security.

the truth is, i cannot picture myself with a guy whose world revolves around things like mahjong. i cannot accept it when my guy plays mahjong from 12 noon to 12 midnight.

don't be mistaken, i know i play it too sometimes. in fact, i like it!

i like hanging out with friends and family, playing and chatting, laughing at lousy tiles and smirking with good ones. i think it's great to catch up with friends, and mahjong is fun. all chinese should learn it, and all fun people should play it.

but trying to cramp like 4,5,6 pods into a single day, every single time, every single week??
and with the same people you see everyday?! (don't tell me that's called "socializing")
there's a term for it you know, it's called GAMBLING.

ok so i exaggerate a bit about the 4,5,6 pods. but so what if its 3,4,5?

1. i still don't approve of excessive gambling, especially when you're hard up and the money really doesn't belong to you. i mean, why do people still play excessively when they're broke? why can't they stop at 1 or 2 rounds?
-->responsibility 0, security 0.

2. i think forgetting an appointment tt you made earlier on, just because of a mahjong game..
-->responsibility 0, security 0.

3. i think it's totally irresponsible to say "sorry wait a while more, we're playing last wind now" when you're late and supposed to be somewhere, meeting someone or some people, at some specific time. cos regardless of who this person is, it IS common courtesy, no?
-->responsibility 0, security 0.

4. yes i feel it's irresponsible, even with a "sorry". because i don't see why a game cannot be stopped halfway when people claim it's just a game.
-->i don't like to WAIT for non-living things..makes me feel dumb.
-->responsibility 0, security 0

seriously, if people are superstitious about stopping a game halfway, then don't wear black, don't wear red undies, don't walk under ladders, don't walk over people, knock toilet doors before you enter, don't leave bits of rice on your plate.

5. If people can afford to gamble so much, i don't see why i can't drink as much too, aye?

ok i admit, i LOVE DRINKING. and when i drink and get drunk, i'm not being responsible.

maybe the only difference is i don't drink when i'm broke, and i don't forget appointments for the sake of drinking?

so i kinda picture myself 10 years down the road, cooped up in my house, listening to mahjong sounds in the next room (for the umpteenth TIME this week), while waiting impatiently to go out for dinner. and while waiting, i'd be counting the money left in the house (due to excessive gambling or drinking) and id be gulping Chivas by the bottles out of pure spite.

and this will be me.

and this will be my kids.