remorse.

been thinking about it last night..
woke up this morning with a throat full of remorse.

yesterday was like a blur. i wished everything never happened, i wished i had locked myself up in the room and threw my phone away.
but thanks people for talking online. thanks charlie for hearing me ramble. thanks naldu for calling me so that i could be part of the F1 zooming fleet haha.

thanks everyone who regained my sanity in one way or another, and thanks to someone for being understanding - something i have failed to do.

i think i've changed.

i thought love would make me more understanding and compromising.
but why is it that i have grown to expect so much more from someone i love, than anyone else?

maybe it's time to ask myself to wake up.
who am i to judge people?
who am i to hold such expectations about people?

i had dream last night.
i was busy as a bee, running around doing things. random things, but all for other people. i think that was me during my secondary and JC days (with the short hair)..and it felt great.
it felt like i was doing something good on this world..
it felt like i was giving, instead of taking.
haven't felt so in a long time..

something's wrong with me now. i want the old me back..