searching.

searching.

haha well done..never knew booby topics can get so much attention. anyway, im just joking..don't dare to try and can't afford to try! =P

been lost lately. really lacking motivation to study. it's like the tale of tortoise and the hare, except that in the end, the tortoise who was already so slow just got tired and started slacking. and so the hare that was meant to be the winner won anyways.

zzz.. attending the networking session at Grand Park hotel didn't help much. not that it wasn't informative, in fact i think the school should hold more of such sessions. the food was damn good! lol but that aside, i guess it freaked me out really when the alumni introduced themselves one by one. suddenly i felt like a small dot on the atlas - lost and not knowing who i am, where i am..or what i want. the alumni at our table said it was normal at this time of our lives, haha but then again he's a 6.3K-er in his third year of work, so im a bit skeptical.

but he did make me feel a whole lot better la, thankfully.

so here at NBS, i see people working hard, mugging their guts out, always on their toes, constantly striving for the top. but i don't understand why..and i probably never will. c0s i believe passion is the key, and it's what drives them towards their goal. and me? i don't even know what my goal is, at least not yet. maybe..just maybe, i'm not like them because i have no passion in what i am learning or doing at accountancy. yes i know what you must be thinking..wtf took me 2 years to realize that?!

haha honestly, i'd like to make things easier and convince myself that i'm just dumb. but that'd be escapism.

cos i think i know what's really freaking me out..
it's not that i can't do it. it's just how much i want it.

which brings me to the same scary question - what do i want?