chew chew chew.

gosh i must be having wormies in my tummy. been eating incessantly for the past week!

today's lunch was yong tau fu. followed by 1 red bean bread, 1 cheese & sugar bread. dinner was 1 bowl of crispy noodles, and 1 FILLET O FISH MEALLLL. with FRIESSS mind you.

and so as i type this, i'm officially suffering from indigestion again for the third time this week. :(

strangely, it is always during these times of uncontrollable binging that i wished i was slimmer, fitter, and prettier. but as i said, the "uncontrollable" binging is surely not helping. i wished i was a stick figure really.

or maybe it's cos of the recent low tidal confidence? these days are just filled with many things, many decisions, many choices, and definitely many outcomes. i'm no longer confident in what i choose to do.

i realized that one of my greatest fears in life is..

what if one day, i stop bringing happiness to others?
it's like what if one day, i smile at someone, but he or she doesn't smile back anymore?
what if i don't even bring a tinge of joy to him or her anymore.
what would my purpose be then? to be on this earth.

ok that's reallll emo. but it seriously scares the hell outta me.

ok..right now i really need to believe in myself and stop being a wussy. i think i need to be myself and not doubt myself, who is just being me.
after all, whether or not i can make others happy..if this is me, then this is me, right?

to everyone out there..i sincerely hope that whatever i do, still does make you happy. if i ever lose this, please pretend and don't tell me.