all shagged out. shag me out .

shagged. . .but i'm loving it. went for a long, long run for the past one hour. think i burnt off everything i ate since the weekend. that includes si's delicious buffet treat (btw thanks girl!! =)) and dad's father's day treat.

initially thought i'd turn right at the junction but something made me go further and further, and before i knew it i was at JP. thought i was going crazy but haven't felt so good in such a long time. but stupid me got lost at jurong west for a while on my way back..so was really about to die when i finally reached city harvest, but luckily (or unluckily) the thunderstorm came so i took a bus from there instead lol.

anyway, sorted some thoughts out, and definitely feel more determined now. i think miss moku is on her way back=)

just read the entry i wrote last night, sounds dumb haha. well time to stop being gloomy! no use worrying when i'm not taking any actions, right? as mum always says "don't worry about what we cannot control". just like how she can't control the fact that she only earned RM48 for two consecutive days last week. yes wake up people, it is THAT bad, the economy.

i'm thankful tho, that our family don't feel the hit yet. dad still roasted a hugomongous chicken on father's day, and mum is still generous with our vitamins. but i know that mum and dad have been eating porridge when we aren't around, and mum has been eating sandwiches and biscuits for lunch. "老人不用吃这样多的！" that's always the excuse. somewhere downunder, bro has been scrimping and saving cos he has been forced to move to a new apartment with more than twice the rent. as for my sis, i bet she thinks thrice now before buying her stuff. mum and dad never complain about life being hard, they just do things to alleviate it. they always say people are worse off in other places so we should count our lucky stars.

and what am i doing? i don't know, don't ask me. maybe we need some disaster to strike us before we start counting our lucky stars. i'm still eating well and living well and comfortably in my little cosy room. i know there's no reason to punish myself for that, but sometimes i feel so lost as to what to do. am i worrying too much? whatever, i don't care, that's just how i feel right now.

gambatte..i MUST get up on my feet and smile.